The Ozy Cru Go Riding
by Lady Jayde Une
Summary: A silly TK/LU + ZM/LN that is littered with sexual inuendo and plenty of swearing! Treize, Une, Zechs and Noin go horse riding and chaos follows. If you like my 'Lady Une & Noin Go Shoppin'', you'll love this! :D Please R+R and *Enjoy*


°·The OZ-y Cru Go Riding·°

Hi! Thanx to all those who supported me and reviewed my fics! Thank You! Oh, by the way, this is littered with sexual comments and silliness!

Gundam Wing ain't mine; I'm broke…so no suing, please! And 'Bitch-Slap™' 's belong to Lady Une who received the rights from GW last year. It was a Christmas present from Treize!

Dedicated to my dear friend Kat Dickerson, who encouraged me to keep writing! Hehehe Thanx fluff!

**_@_****_-_****__****_-_****_°_****_·_****_The OZ-y Cru Go Riding_****_·_****_°_****_-_****__****_-_****_@ _****__**

It had been a long time now; Lady Une was in an S.U.V driven by Treize. She was blindfolded and sitting in the front passenger seat. Where he was taking her was a surprise. She also knew that Treize had brought Zechs and Noin. Lucrezia was blindfolded too and trying to get info from Zechs in the back. But he wasn't playing along, he was adamant that it would be a surprise. Une had no idea where Treize was taking her.

Guessing roughly, she thought it might be about noon now. Earlier that morning Treize had woken her up at 9 am, pestered her to get washed and dressed ASAP. And as soon as they left the mansion he told her to wear the blindfold. Then she figured that Treize drove to Zechs' and Zechs must have done the same thing as Treize. And since then Noin has been pumping Zechs for the tiniest bit of information which was, quite frankly, annoying Une. One thing Une knew was that when Treize took her somewhere it had to be special, added bonus if there was a blindfold included, that means EXTRA special! So why couldn't Noin just sit back and enjoy the ride?

"Ah, we're here!" Treize said as he pulled into a gravely driveway. "Keep the blindfold on Lady, I'll help you out." She heard Treize get out the S.U.V and open her door. He helped her out. Zechs done the same. She heard Treize say to Zechs "Take them over there, that's the one Une will be on." That got her mind racing 'Hmmm, I'm gonna be on something apparently…' Zechs and Treize lead Une and Noin to a wooden fence.

"Ok" Treize said, "Take off the blindfolds!"

The first thing Une saw after letting her eyes adjust to the light of a sunny summer afternoon was a horse grazing in a large field. 'Wait a moment' Une thought '_I'm _going to be ON THAT?!' 

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!" It was Noin. Squealing, jumping and hugging Zechs at the same time. "AreweridingZechs? Arewe, arewe, huh? Huh?" She said excitedly. "Oh, you knew I missed riding when I was younger. You're the best! I GOT THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD!"

"Noin," Zechs said calmly, "Quiet down, will ya'? You'll scare the horses." Noin looked around to the horse in the field, it hadn't budged a muscle.

"See that horse, Lady?" Treize said pointing to a very large brown horse with black legs, mane and tail, "That's the one you'll be riding. Let me introduce you." Treize clicked his tongue a couple of times. The horse heard this, pricked it's ears up and trotted to Treize. As soon as the horse reached her she realized she had totally misjudged the horse's size. It was titanic; it had to be twice as tall as Une if not taller.

"But Treize," Une said, "I can't ride. Let alone a horse as big as THIS!"

"Don't worry about it, Anne," Treize said as he stroked the large horse's nose, "This is Ben and he is a very docile horse, it won't take off with you and this one follows the herd. So if the rest of us go somewhere this horse will follow. No need to worry." He pulled her to him and gave her a re-assuring hug.

Une looked again at the horse and calmed down, enjoying Treize's arms around her. 'On second thoughts, it might not be so bad…' After all, when did Treize lie?

"Hey Zechs, where's the one I'll be riding???" Noin said with one arm wrapped around Zechs' waist and the other tugging on his jacket.

"Hmmm, Blackberry and Breeze…should be around here somewhere." Zechs took a good look around the riding stables. "I think they are in that block." He pointed to a row of stables a couple of hundred yards away. Then turned back to Treize and Une. "Hey Treize, I'm gonna show Noin the horse's we'll be riding, and seems though it won't be long until we do ride, we're gonna tack up too."

"Alright, we'll meet up five minutes before we're set to have our hack. Bye." Treize said and waved to Zechs and Noin. Une couldn't wave she had her arms wrapped around Treize's waist. She didn't want to let go. Quite frankly, 'Ben' scared her. She'd never known a _living_ thing to be as tall as he was. She looked down to his hooves; they were the size of dinner plates!

Zechs and Noin left Une and Treize and headed towards the row of stables. When they got there they started to look for the names of the horses they'd be riding on the stable doors. Appropriately enough Zechs' and Noin's horses were next-stable-neighbours (so to speak).

"Which is the one I'll be riding, Zechs?" Noin asked looking at Blackberry and Breeze.

"You'll be riding Blackberry." Zechs said with a smile.

Noin looked at Blackberry. A stunning black horse, that was quite rounded, and it had a curly mane and tail which Noin thought was really cute. "She's absolutely gorgeous, Zechs." She went to kiss Zechs when Breeze, a tall, fine boned grey horse, snorted at them. "Ops. Who'd of thought a horse doesn't like public displays of affection?"

"Yeah." Zechs replied, stroking Breeze's nose.

Roughly half an hour later Treize + Une and Zechs + Noin were due to meet up to begin they're ride.

Zechs and Noin were on their horses waiting for Treize and Une to arrive by the footpath they agreed to ride.

"I wonder what's taking them so long…" Zechs mumbled to Noin whilst he let Breeze snack on the grass.

"Oh, wait. I think I see them coming!" Noin said.

And what a sight it was. Treize was riding proud and tall on his chestnut horse, Buttercup, that was dwarfed by the horse Une was on. She didn't look too comfortable either, sitting slouched and holding on to the saddle for dear life while the horse plodded on taking a bit of grass as it walked.

It was when Treize and Une got closer that Zechs noticed Une. She seemed a bit ruffled to say the least. Her hair was in a mess and so were her clothes.

"What happened to you?" Zechs asked Une. But he was thinking 'Oh no. Please don't tell me you've had sex in the stables…please…I'll never be able to show my face around here again…'

"The stupid fucking horse bit my ass!" Une yelled.

"Now, now, lady." Treize said, then turned to Zechs, "I instructed her how to put the horse's saddle on and when she put it on the horse nipped her 'cute little rear end'." He looked at the body part in question and continued "I really don't blame it. You _do_ have a cute ass, Une. You've never seemed to mind when I've nipped it"

"_MISTER TREIZE!_" Une said as she turned bright red. She couldn't believe he said 'ass', when normally he would scold her for using 'such disgusting language'. "Can we stop talking about my ass NOW??"

Then Treize glanced at Zechs with a big smirk on his face, "And 'Yes we did' Zechs. I can read you like a book."

Une's mouth dropped open, she knew what he was on about. "TREIZE! PLEASE STOP DISCUSSING OUR SEX-LIFE!!!"

"Hey Une, I don't see why you can't ride a horse…after all you ride Treize pretty well!" Noin laughed, she had to say that. You don't get a chance to say that every day, especially to Une.

"That's what Treize said…" She thought about it and realised Noin was taking the piss. "Damn it, Noin! I'm gonna 'Bitch-Slap™' you when I get off this bloody horse!" Une yelled.

"Gotta catch me!" Noin yelled as she got Blackberry to gallop off.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Zechs mumbled under his breath. "Noin! Wait up!!" He then got Breeze to gallop after her. Making a mental note to wear his mask at all times. Without it people seem to read is expressions too easily. And he didn't like it.

"Damn it." Une said watching Noin gallop in the field taunting her and trying to pull the horse's head up to stop it from eating. "Treize, how do I get this thing to run?"

"You kick, lady." Treize said. Leaning forward, parallel to Une's horse, and pulled the reins hard enough to stop the horse from eating. "Ok, kick now." 

She kicked.

Nothing happened.

She kicked again.

Still nothing happened.

"What now?!" Une yelled. Getting extremely pissed off. Noin was quite literally running rings around her whilst laughing. Right now Une was a pitiful sight. You wouldn't think she was the feared 'Colonel Une'. Well at least the horse didn't.

"Come one Une, 'Bitch Slap™' me now!!" Noin yelled. Taking advantage of Une moment of weakness. And get some prime 'showing off' time.

"Hmmm, maybe if I tap him with my whip, he'll go then." Treize thought out loud.

"Go on then." Une said as she braced herself waiting for the horse to gallop off.

Treize tapped the horse.

Still, nothing happened.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Noin laughed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Damn it! Why won't the bloody thing run???" Une screamed. "What do I do now?!"

Treize smiled sheepishly at her. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"It's a shame it won't run if I said 'giddy up!'" She joked.

Just then the horse pricked it's ears and bolted. Treize sweatdropped. Whilst Zechs and Noin stopped their horses and stared at Une on a run-away horse.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Une shouted at the top of her lungs. "MAKE IT STOP, TREIZE!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh no…that's not good…not good at all. I guess I better save the day!" Treize said as he and Buttercup turned into a chestnut blur, heading for Une.

Zechs looked at Noin.

"Hey, it wasn't _my_ fault." Noin said.

"I didn't say it was." Zechs said.

"Zechs I can read you like a book without your mask on!"

"Oh." Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT! NEXT TIME WEAR THE MASK! Dumbass. "We'd better help Treize." Zechs said as he looked back toward Une and Treize still trying to catch up with her.

Treize was just about levelling up with Une and Ben. With Zechs and Noin catching up fast. As Treize got side-by-side with Ben, Zechs and Noin raced in front of Ben to stop him. Treize reached out and grabbed Ben's reins and pulled hard in order to save Une who was _still _screaming.

"Whoa boy!" Treize said. 

The horse stopped.

"Hmmmmm, how cliché." Treize thought out loud.

"TREIZE, GET ME OFF! GET ME OFF!!" Une bellowed.

Treize wrapped his arms around Lady Une who was shaking like mad.

"It's alright now Lady, I've got you." Treize whispered re-assuring. 

"Oh, Treize!" Une cried and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"It's okay, lady. Do you think you can slide off of Ben and sit with me?" Treize asked.

"Ermm…I don't know…" Une replied uneasy.

"Come here," Treize said gently and held her tight. Une slid of Ben and sat sidesaddle on Buttercup just in front of Treize, holding him tightly around his chest and buried her face in the crook if his neck and sobbed.

"I don't know what happened, Treize. I was so scared. I've never been scared of anything before…not even fighting…or killing…or being killed!" Une muffled in Treize's neck.

"Shhhhhh, your fine now…don't worry," he soothed whilst stroking her hair, "I've got you now. Nothing will happen when I'm with you."

Zechs and Noin came around and Zechs brought Breeze close enough to Ben to get his reins and lead him off.

"Well meet you back at the stables!" Noin yelled as she, Zechs and Ben cantered off back to the stables.

"Hey Noin…They'll be a while to get back won't they?" Zechs asked referring to Treize and Une.

"Yeah, Treize will be taking his time with a traumatized Une." Noin replied.

"What say _after _we put Ben back…we errrrrr…do it in the stable too?" Zechs said slyly.

"ZECHS!!" Noin shouted and blushed. "Kinky!" She thought about it, "Ok, y'talked me into it!"

_Sometime_ later…

"Oh Treize, I ache…" Une moaned. She was getting a piggy-back ride from Treize. She couldn't walk because she complained that she waked like John Wayne after riding in his western movies and it was incredibly painful.

Treize gently put Une on the passenger seat in the S.U.V and passed Noin as he when to the driver's side door.

"I think your taking lessons from Une and I," Treize remarked slyly.

Noin blushed and looked to Treize as he continued, "Oh, by the way, Zechs, you have straw in your hair and Noin you've missed a hole in your button-up top." Then he laughed.

As they all got into the car Noin said, "We'll have to do this again some day, it was fun!"

"Which part the riding or the 'after riding activities'?" Zechs joked.

°~End~°


End file.
